


Best Left Unsaid

by wreckofherheart



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wreckofherheart/pseuds/wreckofherheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing shattered her heart more than knowing she had dragged this poor boy into an unforgivable trap of lies. [Eren/Annie]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Left Unsaid

Annie knew she had made a mistake; a mistake that could have been avoided. Even so, it was an accident. She had never felt an attachment to anyone, except her father. After all he was the only person there for her, the only person who understood her. Socialising was never her strong suit; making friends was difficult, any effort at getting to know someone was a fruitless process for her. It didn’t take her long to give up completely.

Yet with Eren Jeager, it was  _instant_. Effortless, almost. He just seemed  _easy_  to talk to. Despite his thirst for vengeance and ignorant mind, he was nice. He was nice to her, and wanted to share her passion for combat, for leaning to defend himself. Sometimes, he was  _too_  nice. Sometimes, he was  _too_  ignorant. And, sometimes, he made things more complex than they already were. He would smile at her when he shouldn’t, he was kind to her when he shouldn’t be, and he acted as if he knew her, when he didn’t. 

Eren was  _warm_. A very warm soul. His actions and personality were  _warm_ ; very hot. Scolding, even. The boy was a blaze of fire, a rush of beautiful, passionate rage that was so rare to discover these days. Beneath that anger, that scorching hatred, there was love. A love so unique and delicate, so  _fragile_. Eren was a broken child, _destroyed_  and desperate to pick up the pieces. Trying to prove  _something_ , something which he wasn’t so sure about himself. Trying to prove his irrational murderous impulses were justified. It was ironic: he was a complicated boy, but the way he saw everything was simple.

In a way, she envied his hostility, his drive, his  _simpleness_.   
In a way, she  _hated_  him.

She hated the boy who wanted to kill her own species; hated his oblivious nature, his _exhaustive_  bitterness. Eren was  _exhausting_. Restless, absolutely restless, controlled by such ferocity she struggled to keep up. But he was eager, he listened to her advice, he acted as her student, he was willing to let her batter him until he knew how to fend her off. He was willing to learn; he  _recognised_  his ignorance, and was willing to learn. The boy was a fast learner, and even when bleeding and suffering from broken ribs, he demanded they go again. 

It reminded her of her father. How that man was obsessive in  _going again_ , forcing Annie into one training session after the next. By the end of each day, she would be worn out, sweating, bleeding and aching. He drove her to the edge, he was preparing her, he was transforming his daughter into a soldier for war. Eren was exactly the same, a mirror image of that possessed determination. That unsympathetic and cold nature. 

But, behind it all, deep down, there was an essence of love. A warmth. The only reason her father pushed her was because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing the only thing which mattered to him. Heading into the Wall,  _as one of them_ , was a death sentence. She had to learn, and she had to learn quick, and she had to be the best. It was survival of the fittest, and it was rough, it was harsh, and it was Hell. Her father once collapsed before her, asking, no,  _begging_  she come back to him. Desperate to not be alone.

Eren didn’t know. One day he would, the truth always came out somehow. But, right now, he hadn’t a single clue. The girl he was slowly beginning to trust was no girl at all. There would come the day when he would look at her, and see nothing but an ugly monster. There would come the day when he would look at her, and he wouldn’t smile, he wouldn’t look at her with such  _warmth_  anymore. He would look at her, and  _hate_  her. See her as  _one of them_ , a Titan, a destructive creature from the depths of Hell that must be thwarted. 

At first, this wouldn’t have bothered her. It was never meant to  _bother_  her. 

But, now, she couldn’t sleep.

It had been a long day, their sergeant had been rough on them all, and all the scouts were exhausted. Most had ventured off to bed, bruised and beaten. However, the odd few had enough energy to stay awake. The air was pleasantly cool so Eren had left the mess hall to lean against the bannister outside. His hair was a mess, and he needed to wash; he felt disgusting. The scout was distracted from his thoughts when he recognised a familiar presence beside him. He didn’t notice Annie on his way out, and she didn’t seem to have noticed him either.

‘Hey,’ he greeted.

What was rather sad was that Annie always felt shocked whenever he spoke to her. No one initiated conversations with her; to be recognised and registered as  _someone to talk to_  was relatively bizarre, foreign. She looked at him, and offered a small smile. In fact, it wasn’t even a smile. More a twitch of her lips, acknowledging he was there. Annie would have preferred to be left alone; she wasn’t in the mood to be anyone’s company.

Time was running out. Her father was expecting her, she needed to make a move soon; the transferrals were approaching. It had already been three years. Three years ago was the last time she saw her father, and she wondered if he was all right, if he was still alive, if he remembered her, if he had got bored and moved on. Suddenly, she was desperate to know. Desperate to please him, to earn his trust and respect, she wanted to make her father proud so he wouldn’t just see the baby which killed his wife. 

Eren was still watching her, and it was slightly irritating. He caught on that something was wrong, but she was ready to bite his head off if he dared ask. It had  _nothing_  to do with him.  _She_  had nothing to do with him. 

But why did the fact he noticed her, that he was still watching her, that he was _concerned_  for her, make her feel  _good_? For the first time in her life, she felt  _good_ about herself. As if she had made the  _right_  decision to let him in, to consider him a friend. It didn’t matter if he was the enemy, because, right now, he was a friend, worried about her wellbeing. He didn’t have to be worried, but he was. Annie  _meant_ something to him. 

He saw her as a person;  _real_. Not a weapon for war, not a daughter he was forced to love, not a teacher he had to respect. He saw her as a  _person_ , a woman, an individual. 

‘You did good today.’

That comment made her frown slightly.

‘I mean, with training. I saw you. Glad you didn’t slack off this time.’ He was joking, teasing her, and he laughed shortly, expecting her to respond. Annie was silent, though. 

Unbeknownst to him, she did not do good today. She had been distracted from her real motive, her duty, and she still  _was_. Distracted by him, distracted by everything he was, how his presence made her feel  _happy_. It was like a drug; extremely addictive, but harmful. So harmful she knew she needed to distance herself from him; playing with the enemy was a very bad idea.

Her father would not be pleased, he wouldn’t want anything to do with her if he discovered.

Annie’s heart skipped a beat, afraid she might possibly be  _failing_  already.

Their gaze met, and she wished he didn’t look at her like that. As if she was the most interesting person in the world. What an idiot. He was so stupid it made her want to scream. ‘I could have done better,’ she confessed.

Eren narrowed his brows. ‘You think so? You wiped out all of those recruits without having to try.’ He snorted. ‘In my opinion, you couldn’t have done better. You’re too hard on yourself.’

Why was she telling him this? He wouldn’t understand;  _he didn’t know_. Annie turned away from him; it was easier to not let him see her. Less strain on her heart. ‘When it comes to the real thing, it’s a lot different.’

‘You have nothing to worry, though. Those Titans are no match against you.’

That was enough to confirm to her he had no idea. He was falling for her tricks, her acting. Except she wasn’t acting at all. She could feel herself  _slipping_. ‘I did struggle a little today.’ The words escaped her lips before she could stop them. She sensed Eren edge a little closer, he wanted to hear more, wanted to hear her concerns, he wanted to  _care_. ‘I shouldn’t be struggling––’

‘Everyone does once in a while,’ Eren’s voice was softer. She could feel his eyes on her, and she deliberately kept facing forward; she didn’t want to look at him. ‘That’s normal.’

Annie paused. He was listening. No one listened to her, not so intently. No one listened to her excuses, or cared for her excuses, or believed she  _had_  excuses. Life was short and rough where she came from. The moment she was born, this cruel world began to punish her. ‘Normal isn’t good enough for me.’ Without meaning to, she turned her head to catch a glimpse of him, but the amount of passion and devotion in his eyes made it impossible for her to look away. He was watching her so intensely, she felt she could tell him everything. Reveal her true identity here and now, and know that he wouldn’t push her aside.

But she was suddenly crushed back into reality. This was Eren Jeager. The irrational, stupid idiot.

‘I’m failing my duty. At what I’ve been assigned to do.’

‘Annie…’ Eren smiled, and it was a childish, wonderful smile, all for her. ‘You can’t fail. I’ve never met anyone else like you; you can’t possibly fail.’

It was painful, listening to him, but she clung onto every word. Because even if he was an idiot, and had no idea, he still understood, he still  _tried_  to understand. He was praising her, giving her merit, complimenting her skills ––  _relieving_  her from the constant self discipline. He was willing to take his time with her, boost her confidence again, bring her back to how she was before. 

_You can’t possibly fail_.

She felt the back of his hand brush against her cheek. He was still smiling, and she could tell he wanted to say more, tell her what was on his mind, but she didn’t want him to speak. She wanted him to be silent. She didn’t want him to make this worse; to make this more complicated, more dangerous between them. She didn’t want to hurt him more when the truth was discovered. She didn’t want him to abandon her.

That revelation nearly made her gasp. It was such a sharp, shocking revelation it made her heart  _stop_.

‘I’m afraid.’

She had said it before she realised, and he heard her, and his smile quivered, as if he had upset her. Then, she realised she had; she hurt him, but not directly. The very idea that she was scared hurt Eren; how she felt was so important to him he was _affected_  by it.

Eren’s kiss was rough, and quick. There was no grace in his affection, but the passion he continued to possess was reflected in his kiss. It was a reflex, nearly, or instinctive. Whatever it was, he put no thought into the action; he just did, because that felt like the only normal thing to do, the only  _right_  thing to do. He kissed her, reminded her he was here at least. Even if she had no one else, even if he didn’t know her background that well, he wanted her to know that she,  _at least_ , had him.

When he pulled away, his lips brushed over hers gently, and he felt her trembling when she grabbed his jacket, holding the material,  _clinging_. Eren moved his head so he could whisper into her ear that she no reason to be afraid, that there was nothing to be scared of, and that he was here. 

And that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Nothing shattered her heart more than knowing she had dragged this poor boy into an unforgivable trap of lies.


End file.
